Dreaming or Living

I would like to start by paraphrasing a song “Dance, you're not killing yourself! You're only triggering your senses”. Then I spent eleven years of my life doing it and also believing that it would be my future. Dance! I just don’t know whether I let it slip through my fingers or just gave up, but at some point I stopped doing it. It all started when I was eleven and it came to an end when I was twenty-two. What I used to dance? Polish folklore, but before that, it was also Ukrainian, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish. In 2001 I became part of an ensemble of only Polish folklore and I thought I was just in heaven.

I thought I could become professional, and travel around the world as a dancer. I never wanted to be famous, I just wanted to dance and I still do. Someday, somehow, someway, I lost it. Maybe I didn’t put enough effort into achieve it and writing this makes my heart  beat so fast and causes my eyes to water. But I’ll stand still and keep those days in my mind, a good place that I can visit to have warm memories and forget about time.

“When I dance I feel free” and then another song gets in my head, because once you’re on the stage you’ll never want to get out. But I did it and never looked back. “Once I am moving, I’m alright”, yes, I just need a song. I’m not a dancer anymore but I still know the moves… what I wouldn’t do to get those days back, I know I can’t but I’ll never lose the spirit that keeps me alive. Oh, how I miss those days! Well, I guess I just need to keep on moving to any rhythm and any song. I just need to keep on moving. I am dance, dance is me. I need music to set me free. Music and dance are my essence, my soul. I know it sounds lame, but it’s true.

Of course I’ll end it by paraphrasing another song, because I’ll never stop: “I wanna dance like it was the last dance of my life”. Would you join me?

Será (?!)

   Em alguns momentos parece que você quer ficar por perto, em outros parece que prefere manter distância. Algumas horas chego a pensar que estamos recuperando a nossa conexão, em outras até acredito que é tudo coisa da minha cabeça. Não entendo o motivo de não pedir ajuda, é mais fácil se expressar do que guardar, quem sabe eu até poderia te ajudar. 

    Quando você está por perto, desejo sempre que as horas passem devagar, chega até a ser engraçado porque sinto que o mundo para de rodar, e as pessoas ao redor parecer evaporar. Depois não vejo a hora do momento da despedida, para que possamos nos dizer tchau, e então eu sentir o toque de sua pele e, com muita sorte, a maciez de seus lábios em meu rosto, como naquela canção "And the touch of your lips it's a shock not a kiss, it's electric twist" e é tão bom. Fica aquele gosto quando comemos um doce que nos deixa querendo mais. 

    Sei que devo apreciar com moderação, afinal, não quero me perder e acabar na solidão, já que muitas vezes pareço apenas um acessório, quando enjoa, sou substituído por outro que está na moda. Ainda não sei o que pensar e o que decidir. Vamos deixar assim, deixar o tempo nos guiar e o que tiver que ser, será.